So what exactly is Live In Discovery®?

Live in Discovery is the choice to grow and evolve in any life situation. I know that may sound like a mouthful, so let me explain. Live in Discovery offers tools and strategies to help you navigate your life while acknowledging that there is not a right way, nor is there just one way.  Live in Discovery supports you as you discover your way, recognizing that we do the best we can, often imperfectly, as we gain more and more information throughout our lives.  I have chronicled my journey in two books that illustrate the development of this philosophy as it unfolded within my life. More about the books in a minute.

Where did Live in Discovery® come from?

A few days after both of my parents received terminal diagnoses, a friend I hadn’t seen in a while asked how I was doing. So, I gave her a brief summary and ended by saying flatly, “My life is hell.” Hearing myself say those words shook me to my core and for weeks they echoed in my head and rankled my being.  

My father was lying immobile in a hospital bed from a massive stroke. Wheelchair-bound, my mothers independent capabilities had narrowed to brushing her own teeth. And in the midst of this situation I realized that Barbara was talking about Barbara. Hearing myself, listening to my thinking stated out loud, was life changing. At that moment, I realized I didn’t want to be that Barbara. I was determined to show up differently from then on. I recognized I had an opportunity to accompany my parents on this portion of their journey, and I knew now that it was a privilege. 

While caring for my parents, I wrote emails to friends and relatives and kept notes to help me make sense of what had happened and to help myself heal. I was clearly in a process of discovery. Some of this material eventually became the book Birthdays of the Soul: Seeing Yourself Change in Times of Sea Change.

Ten years later I experienced multiple losses in my life. During this time, I began thinking about my thinking, again. Thus continued a journey of personal reflection, exploration and writing. This became the foundation for the book Leaving Shore: Making the Choice to Live in Discovery, hereafter referred to as Leaving Shore.

In Leaving Shore, I identify two major states of mind; wonky and inspired.  Wonky is simply being out of balance. I offer endless examples of my wonky mind, like when Barbara was only thinking about Barbara. When I am wonky, I may also exaggerate risks and fears, therefore writing a story in my head akin to a soap opera. 

Frequently, when people see my thinking on the pages in the book, they start giggling and ask me how I got inside their head or why their picture isn’t included with the text. It’s not just my head, it’s not just your head, it’s part of the human experience. Both books offer stories from my life and the lives of others which further illustrate peoples journeys. I have tried to give you access to a great deal of my operating system in both its wonky and inspired state, simply as an example for you to use as you reflect on yours. 

By identifying our wonky thinking, we understand we have permission to change the way we think. My journey of thinking about my thinking began as a private process. I discovered that many of my wonky ideas were driven by exaggerated, or unnecessary fears and the pattern of judgment. Conversely, I identified that the more I focused on allowing myself to be curious, creative, and compassionate, the more I recognized the possibilities within my own life. 

What does the Live in Discovery® model have to offer you and how is it different?

Live in Discovery offers you an opportunity to examine your operating system, beliefs, myths, and stories. Here are a couple of examples of unexamined beliefs.

Several years ago, many manufacturers recommended draining a battery completely before recharging, to extend the life of devices. Using old guidelines in the rapidly changing field of technology helps us to see the need to continually update information. It clearly doesn’t make sense to use old directions with new devices. Batteries are just one example of the importance of using current information for operating systems. I need to continually ask myself “is this true, is this true now?” Each time I discover that I am operating, utilizing old information, it can offer a window into other patterns within my mind.

Things that seem little, or unimportant, can serve as powerful clues that pave the way to seeing much more significant beliefs that you might question and choose to change. The old idea can serve as a key to unlock the storage unit within your mind. Even core beliefs like “I’m not smart” have been rewritten while walking the length of a store parking lot. Other core beliefs may require gathering more information to be rewritten, reflecting a larger perspective. Commonly, individuals enjoy a cascade of benefits after addressing an outdated belief which has been fundamental to their identity. 

To be clear, Leaving Shore offers an array of navigational tools to support you to live in discovery. There are lots of examples, stories, illustrations, charts, word pictures, and color coding for you to draw on as you continue to house-clean your mind and contemplate potential change. Your journey will be unique to you. Everything in Live in Discovery is very doable. In the book, Leaving Shore, you will find how small changes have amazingly powerful effects over time. There is no big mountain to climb. There are just small steps. Once you open the door to “thinking about your thinking”, your life changes.

Again, an example from my life. As I began to understand how infrequently my opinion was truly needed, my life changed. I found that the world worked quite well without me continually thinking or voicing my unsolicited opinions about myself, people or situations. Repeatedly, I have been privileged to witness others as they made the decision to rein in their judge, choose to simply observe, and allow themselves to become curious. With the gift of time and practice, a different understanding emerges of when and how the judge is needed. 

Leaving Shore was designed so that you could open the book and begin anywhere. For example, if you are currently reflecting on your relationship with your body, you might begin by reading Chapter 6. You can start according to your own interests, or needs. It also addresses some common beliefs, such as; there must be pain for gain. As we choose to live in discovery, we revise the belief with the understanding that pain is not required to edit and revise our operating instructions. Frequently, it is actually just the opposite. Releasing or revising an outdated belief, that clearly no longer serves, typically brings relief and joy. It’s common to think that reflection is hard, and to be avoided at all costs, when really there is a great deal of humor as we discover the commonalities we have with our fellow humans. A common “ahh-ha” is, “What? I’m not the only one who thinks this way?”

How does it work?

Here’s a fun example from my own life

In the middle of one of these clusters of events, on a very busy day, I went to a big box store with a long list. I needed two new liquid soaps, for my two sinks, in my one bathroom. As I paused and contemplated the vast array of choices of color and scent, I had a major “ahh-ha”. I realized I could have two different soaps in one bathroom. This may sound ridiculous to you, but it was a huge clue to a pattern in my thinking. I was jolted when I realized the constraints that were controlling my choices. It gave me significant clues to the patterns within my own mind. Here I am, again, giving you a window into my wonky thinking, because when you begin this process, everything, even the choice of soaps, can give you insights into your operating system. When you unlock a seemingly small, inconsequential idea, it will often give you insight into other automatic patterns of thought which may be currently limiting you. This insight is gold in your life.

Closing

Thank you for joining me today. I’m really excited about next week’s blog because I will be introducing a new Live in Discovery project. So, until we meet again.